I always find myself up when I really should be sleeping. And if my depression kicks in, I'm bipolar, I end up sleeping for two days and then not being able to sleep properly for a week.
Sometimes I go through this cycle and it lasts more than a few days.
I try my best to understand it but, eh, I figure I will get it straightened if I could just get a job.
I have been unemployed for 3 weeks now and I am losing my mind. I am not at all happy that I am unemployed and I actually have been trying to get a job. So, today I'm going to go to an employment agency to get a job. If I can't find success this time, then I will try someone else to try and help me.
Hopefully, they can. I hate that I have had so much slow luck on this. I really want a job. I love to work. It's not just about the money, although that is nice since I have bills to pay and whatnot, but I like to work. I like to keep my hands busy.
Idle hands make for Idle minds.
And right now my mind is way too idle. I'm losing my ever-loving mind. I hate it. absolutely. I wish I was working. I really, really do.
A Little Bit About Me
- Ashley
- Blog-ger: one who writes in a public forum. That's about it as far as I am concerned. I write because I like to.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Cristae of the Powerhouse
It's nothing if not an efficient means to the ends. There are far greater things that what we go through on a daily basis. I find myself sometimes wondering why I get out of bed in the morning. Then, I remember, I am not the only one who has a bad time of it. I am not the only person on the planet dealing with severe disc issues coupled by lupus, pcos, rheumatoid arthritis, and the like. I find that I need to take a reassurance of my own measures to reevaluate my idea of what is truly the issue that I deal with.
Is it the problems that I have with my chronic issues or is it the problems that I have mentally dealing with the individualized issues. I try my hardest to understand all that I have to go through and sometimes just getting out of bed in the morning makes me want to high-five myself.
Existentially of course, I find myself in the midst of dealing with a far greater issue of mentally being capable. Being capable of many different things. I try very hard to understand the many issues that I am going through but even more so to understand the issues that other people go through and to understand that I am not the only one dealing with the issues that make life hard to adjust to or otherwise deal with in the plainest of instances.
I've spent a great amount of time trying to get my life all figured out and trying to understand what it is that I need to figure out. I need a job and I need to ace this class. I also need to move out and be on my own since I am almost 25. Seriously? This is getting ridiculous. VERY RIDICULOUS. I am more than that of course. I need to get my shit together.
Is it the problems that I have with my chronic issues or is it the problems that I have mentally dealing with the individualized issues. I try my hardest to understand all that I have to go through and sometimes just getting out of bed in the morning makes me want to high-five myself.
Existentially of course, I find myself in the midst of dealing with a far greater issue of mentally being capable. Being capable of many different things. I try very hard to understand the many issues that I am going through but even more so to understand the issues that other people go through and to understand that I am not the only one dealing with the issues that make life hard to adjust to or otherwise deal with in the plainest of instances.
I've spent a great amount of time trying to get my life all figured out and trying to understand what it is that I need to figure out. I need a job and I need to ace this class. I also need to move out and be on my own since I am almost 25. Seriously? This is getting ridiculous. VERY RIDICULOUS. I am more than that of course. I need to get my shit together.
Manipulation of Circadian Rythmns
There's nothing more to worry about than the unintentional disruption of one's normal sleeping patterns. I have unintentionally messed up, quite royally, my sleeping patterns. I have, however; managed to get quite a bit of my homework done instead of sleeping but it has royally fucked up just about anything else. I hate that I haven't been as diligent with applications or any of the like. I should be filling out multitudes of applications considering that this last interview hasn't seemed to go so well.
I really want the job as the pharmacy technician but i'm really concerned that she's going to cut me from her list because of the one month i spent at Papa Johns. She's concerned that I wont work out because one of the ladies is married to the owner of the pizza joint. I understand her concern but I know for a fact that it is not going to be a problem. I don't like to dwell on the bad that I have dealt with in my life or in my past history. I love to work. That is all that I want to do.
If I could work again, I would be very, very happy. I don't like to be stagnant. I would rather have to do my homework during the night to catch up than get so far ahead with my notes that I manage to royally fuck myself ahead of the weeks that it is due and manage to ruin and overload my brain with information.
I want to work.
Plain and simple.
I hope that I can convince her as much. I really hope that I can convince her of as much. I would love to get this job. I really do.
Remember to Dance Out all the Pains.
I really want the job as the pharmacy technician but i'm really concerned that she's going to cut me from her list because of the one month i spent at Papa Johns. She's concerned that I wont work out because one of the ladies is married to the owner of the pizza joint. I understand her concern but I know for a fact that it is not going to be a problem. I don't like to dwell on the bad that I have dealt with in my life or in my past history. I love to work. That is all that I want to do.
If I could work again, I would be very, very happy. I don't like to be stagnant. I would rather have to do my homework during the night to catch up than get so far ahead with my notes that I manage to royally fuck myself ahead of the weeks that it is due and manage to ruin and overload my brain with information.
I want to work.
Plain and simple.
I hope that I can convince her as much. I really hope that I can convince her of as much. I would love to get this job. I really do.
Remember to Dance Out all the Pains.
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